When I’m gone

I guess when you are young, dying is not something you embrace as part of life. Its probably not something you even acknowledge. We know it could/ will come eventually but it’s not really part of our reality. Well at least for the ones that are lucky enough to not have to make it a part of their reality.

I guess when you are older you probably have two choices. You can either live your life in denial or you can embrace your years, enjoy life to the fullest and accept the fact that death is inevitable.

Even way before she got sick, my grandmother used to always tell me:” Don’t be sad when I die. I’ve lived a lot, I’ve lived everything I’m going to live; you have to carry on.” It would break my heart everytime she said that. Not because of the rawness of her words but because deep inside I knew she was right.
She was always trying to protect me. Even before it was her time she wanted to make sure that I came into terms with reality, before it was time for me to do so.
But I guess no matter what she said to make it better.  that’s not something you can ever feel prepared for; is it?

As I write this I remember something my cousin used to tell me, a saying that is poorly translated to:” no one knows whats inside the heart of a pumpkin, except for the knife that cuts thru it.”


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